Wannabe Tarantino at S.F. State

Brando as Kurtz
Originally uploaded by moalboalmango.

Dear Colonel Kurtz,
I wanna be a director when I grow up, but my problem is not talent (I'm the greatest). It's just that I have no money - I insist on only shooting on film. Can you tell me what to do?
---Wannabe Tarantino at S.F. State

Dear Wannabe,
You have a disease, and every film school, "how to" film book, and film seminar knows it. Here's what you do:
a. rent "Tarnation" for inspiration -the feature was made for $300
b. Write a 90 page script in your screenwriting class - not just the 1st act the prof expects. I don't care if it's crap. Just write 90 pages of stuff you can shoot, and DON'T censor yourself. Nobody's gonna want it anyway, you may as well have fun.
c. Get some actors, a video camera (just attach a decent mic to the thing), a couple crew members and shoot the damn thing with natural light. Keep it simple.
d. Design a nice DVD cover and sell it through Customflix.

You will have finished a feature, which is more than 99% of other Tarantino wannabe's would have done.

e. Bask in your glory, and the knowledge you've gained.

Yours, Col. Kurtz